


carry me through the days

by plotdevice



Category: FFC-Acrush (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: Butch/Butch, Canon Compliant, Eighty-percenter, F/F, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:13:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24067921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plotdevice/pseuds/plotdevice
Summary: In the dark of night, Lin Fan climbs into Lu Keran's bed for an urgent confession.
Relationships: Lin Fan/Lu Keran
Comments: 16
Kudos: 69





	carry me through the days

**Author's Note:**

> set during whatever point of qcyn2 that u want, it doesnt really matter.

> I was twenty. In a few weeks I would fall,  
>  for the first time, in love, that man waiting  
>  patiently in my future like a red leaf  
>  on the sidewalk, the kind of beauty  
>  that asks to be noticed. How was I to know  
>  it would begin this way: every cell of my body  
>  burning with a dangerous beauty, the air around me  
>  a nimbus of light that would carry me  
>  through the days, how when he found me,  
>  weeks later, he would find me like that,  
>  an ordinary woman who could rise  
>  in flame, all he would have to do  
>  is come close and touch me.  
>   
>  \--from [Fast Gas](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/58325/fast-gas), Dorianne Laux

Propelled by some unknown force Lin Fan sat up straight in bed. Clambering down the ladder was difficult in the dark, but she managed, and then she crossed the room to where Keran was sleeping and climbed back up. When she crawled in, Keran murmured something in her sleep. Lin Fan shook her gently. "Wake up!"

In the darkness she could not see the exact moment when Keran blinked herself awake, but she didn't have to; she could picture it in her mind's eye. God knows she'd seen it enough times over the past two years, in the nights they'd fallen asleep by accident in the practice room or when she'd crawl into Keran's bed because she felt lonely and Keran would, without batting an eyelash, open her arms to Lin Fan and let her fall asleep like that. Now she knew exactly how those pink lips parted, how those heavy eyes looked right upon waking. She lifted a corner of the blanket and wriggled herself under. 

"Listen, listen," she said urgently.

"Did something happen?" Keran lifted a hand to brush her hair out of her eyes, and Lin Fan caught it and held it.

"Listen," she said again, and this time it didn't hold the same urgency but it felt just as vital and immediate. Their rooms were so high up that only the light from the moon came in faintly, but it was enough to touch the outline of Keran's tousled hair. Her hands were white and slender in Lin Fan's grasp. 

"I'm listening," Keran said. Her voice was still a bit rough. "But you need to actually tell me something, or I'll think you interrupted my sleep for nothing." She ended this with a sleepy laugh, cut off by a stifled gasp when Lin Fan, using the hand she was holding, rolled them over so that their bodies were flush, their legs tangled. Lin Fan had worn boxers to sleep the way she always did, but maybe Keran had worn--just underwear--or nothing at all--because her slim legs were smooth and warm against Lin Fan's own and it sent a shock of arousal through her system. 

But she couldn't think too much about it because that would put her off; instead she just had to do it.

"Listen," she began, and was cut off by Keran saying,

"Fanfan, if you say 'listen' one more time I'm going to kick you out of bed. Just say it." But Lin Fan could hear the smile in her voice.

It was only when she opened her mouth that she realised she couldn't say it at all. But the light, and Keran's legs, and this new intimacy engendered boldness, so she leaned forward and without thinking too hard about it she pressed her mouth to Lu Keran's own. A breath, and then she was about to pull away before Keran's hand that was still holding hers fisted in the back of her shirt and pulled her forward and down, so that their bodies were flush, and then they were kissing, really kissing, Keran's mouth a flower opening under her own, Keran's body warm and alive under her. 

What had Lin Fan been so afraid of? This was all familiar to her. She knew how to do this, had done this a thousand times before, and even if she hadn't this was just Lu Keran. No one to be scared of, no one to laugh at her, just her jiejie who patted her head and smiled at her with those funny dimples and let Lin Fan pinch her hard even when it hurt just to make her feel better. Now she was kissing that same Keran, whose mouth was soft, whose lips she drank from sweetly, and it was the most natural thing in the world. It felt even more natural to push a hand up Keran's shirt, where she encountered smooth, bare skin that made her curse under her breath. She stopped for a moment before going where she wanted, almost afraid, but Keran made an impatient noise under her breath and rolled fully onto her back, spreading her legs so that Lin Fan was right in the V. 

Really, really. She couldn't remember what the fear was about in the first place. It was all instinct now, to thumb Keran's nipples until she was shaking, to push her shirt up and mark the pale skin in places only she would see, to put her mouth on Keran's small breasts and hear her moan and fist a hand in Lin Fan's hair, pulling against it until her scalp pricked pleasantly. To push a hand downwards even as she felt Keran's moans vibrate through her chest, underneath the plain briefs she knew Keran wore, until she reached the sparse hair at the V of her legs, and then further down where she was wet and trembled at the slightest touch. 

It took her a couple of false starts but then, with two fingers pressed inside and a thumb circling Keran's clit she began a steady motion. She could barely see in the dark but Keran's head was thrown back, that dark shock of hair spread against the pillow as she made slight noises high in her throat. Lin Fan could have guessed she'd be quiet but she never thought she'd like it so much--to read Keran entirely through her body, to know without trying the meaning of the quiet sighs and the breath that hitched and cut itself off. She didn't have to ask; she knew, and she knew Keran too. The muscles in her arm tensed and flexed as she fucked Keran, and somehow the wet sounds of them moving together, the moans in the back of Keran's throat, their laboured breaths, were more erotic than any other experience Lin Fan could remember. 

When Keran came she barely made a sound; she tensed all the way from her neck, where Lin Fan was kissing her now, to her curled toes, which she had set against Lin Fan's calves when she'd bent her knees for easier access. Her chest rose and fell fast. Lin Fan could feel, now, how sweaty they were. Keran's underwear had been lost somewhere in the sheets, her shirt rucked up to under her arms. Lin Fan's shirt wasn't much better, and there was sweat prickling her uncomfortably--at the back of her knees, at her temples, at the crooks of her elbows. She knew Keran ran hot but she hadn't realised it'd extend to this. 

Carefully, she pulled her fingers out. Keran made a small noise but made no move to stop her; it was only when Lin Fan hesitated, wondering whether it would be rude to wipe them on Keran's sheets, especially with the limited laundry ability that they had, that she took Lin Fan's wrist and deliberately licked each finger clean. 

Lin Fan gaped at her. She knew her jaw was hanging open unattractively, but she could make no move to close it. All this time she'd been able to ignore her own arousal in favour of the intoxicating scent of Keran's own and now she could feel herself throbbing at the way Keran's wet tongue laved at her fingers, at feeling the pointy tips of her teeth and the silky hot inside of her mouth and lips. 

"Can I?" Keran said. Her hand was already reaching under the hem of Lin Fan's shirt.

Lin Fan dropped her head to Keran's shoulder and groaned, almost kicking her legs a little in the eagerness of wanting it. "Fuck. Yes." 

She could hear the rumble of Keran's low laugh vibrate through her and felt a hand pat her on the shoulder. "Turn to the side a little bit, Fanfan." 

Laying on her side, she met Keran's eyes full-on for the first time, and then the eye contact broke when Keran took her jaw in one slender hand and kissed her tenderly on the mouth. "Is this what this was about this whole time?" she asked. 

Lin Fan was already red from exertion, but if she hadn't been she would have flushed all the way down her chest. She didn't bother to bury her face into the pillow; Keran could see everything about her anyway. "Maybe," she said. A pause. "Fine. Yes." She couldn't stop herself from laughing out of embarrassment, and Keran laughed too, the joyous one that burst out of her. Even that was quiet. Somehow Lin Fan felt that every cell of her body was suffused in love, and she pushed forward so that her arms were wrapped around Keran, wedging the one against the bed under her until it was comfortable, and kissed her so hard she thought for a second she could go blind with it. 

"You should have just said it from the beginning," Keran said. Her voice was even lower now that they were face to face like this, the tips of their noses touching. She stole another kiss. The pleasing sweetness that drew Lin Fan to her was more pronounced like this, her open vulnerability made erotic, but she could be daring too. Lin Fan was learning: to lead her to pleasure was to follow as well.

"I couldn't," she said after a moment. She couldn't keep her mouth away from Keran's own. She kissed her again, just to feel it out, the minute tremor of Keran's body when the slide and catch of their mouths hit a rhythm. Her soft lips, the feverish hot inside of her mouth. The tender skin under her ear, where Lin Fan's thumb was stroking. The yielding curve of her waist.

"Will you let me?" Keran said after a moment. They were lying facing each other, each on their sides, and she took her free hand and rubbed her thumb over the hem of Lin Fan's boxers. 

"Yes," Lin Fan said, the breath rushing out of her. "Please, please." She thought she would die if Keran didn't touch her.

She felt more than saw the way Keran's mouth curved into a smile. "Sometimes people don't like it," she said. And then: "How do you usually...?" 

For some reason this was what made her face burn with embarrassment. To have someone know her so well that she even bothered asking the question: it was a vulnerability she hadn't expected. Without saying anything she guided Keran's hand down to her boxers, leaving it over the fabric. She knew what she didn't have to say and she was unexpectedly grateful for it, suddenly, and for the darkness that hid all her apprehension. 

The angle must have been awkward for her wrists, but Keran didn't ask her to turn over or to do anything else that might have made it easier, and Lin Fan was once again grateful for how observant she was, for all the inferences she made without asking that always turned out to be exactly right. She dragged her fingers up a bit, touching Lin Fan's stomach and feeling the muscles there jump.

Keran's clever fingers pushed down and found Lin Fan's clit right as she leaned over to kiss her, and so Lin Fan groaned into her mouth, accidentally biting her lip too hard. The curve of Keran's smile made it hard to keep kissing her, but Lin Fan wanted to, even as Keran's slender fingers rubbed her gently over her boxers, a finger on either side of her clit. The fabric was pleasantly rough, and Lin Fan hadn't touched herself in so long that she broke out in goosebumps. They kept kissing, Lin Fan's hands fisted in Keran's long dark hair, as Keran moved her fingers in the same easy rhythm, neither speeding up nor slowing down. The sweat prickled at Lin Fan's hairline, created an arc of heat in all the places she and Keran were touching, and as the tension built and crested in her body, coming in waves and making her shake, it rose until finally she dragged her mouth away from Keran's and bit down at her shoulder, muffling her moan and stopping it in her throat as she came. 

Keran stayed like that for a second, her fingers caught where Lin Fan's legs had clamped shut around them. Then she drew her hand away and patted Lin Fan's shoulder, and then she petted Lin Fan's hair. The sweat was more than a bit uncomfortable but Lin Fan didn't want to move away; this hazy, dark intimacy was too fragile and too precious to break. 

Finally, sounding sleepy again, Keran said, "So do you get it now?"

Lin Fan, who had almost fallen asleep herself, almost jumped. Then she said: "I got it the whole time."

"Did you?" 

Sulkily: "Yes."

Keran's hand moved from where it rested at Lin Fan's hip up to her mouth, where she felt out the shape of Lin Fan's pout and then kissed her, quick and light. "You're silly," she said. Her voice was now more breath than sound. "You had me the entire time, didn't you know?" 

If Lin Fan cracked open an eye, she could see the gleam of Keran's own opposite her, and the outline of her wild hair. If she thought harder about it she could make out the fine bones of her face, her pink lips. "It wasn't about that," she muttered.

Keran's hand moved to her hair, petting her. "So?"

"I just wanted to--" It was hard to force the words out, and she closed her eyes again. "Take care of you. You know." 

"Oh my god, Lin Fan." Keran sounded like she was smiling. How many times had Lin Fan heard her say that? In anger, in amusement, in disbelief. Never like this. "Don't you know?" She leaned forward and kissed Lin Fan's forehead, the tip of her nose, her hot cheeks, gentle and tender. "You did. You already did. You do."

**Author's Note:**

> even tho this is tagged "eighty-percenter" (as in, 80% of a real fic) it's actually more like... a 20%er. i plotted out a whole storyline for it but i wrote this part first and i realised i... didn't want to write any of the rest of the story? and even tho i don't really like writing or publishing pwp, my laziness ultimately won out... i've also wanted to use fast gas in a story for yearsssss so i'm glad i finally got that opportunity haha. igss there is other stuff i could say about this but it is not really that interesting tbh... 
> 
> anyway i hope everyone enjoyed... plz leave comments if u like <3


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